We all have flaws. We all have bad moments. We all have a dark side.

Mine is my temper. Sometimes I can control it, sometimes I lose it. The times I lose it are few and far between any more, thank goodness. I’ve learned some coping techniques to keep it at bay, my husband has learned how to recognize when I’m about to lose it and what will diffuse the situation. It’s been a team effort for sure.

*Not to mention I also take an absolutely wonderful natural supplement I affectionately refer to as my “happy pills” that helps keep my raging hormones regulated.

But sometimes, I still lose it. When I’m tired, or overwhelmed, or any number of other things that might be beyond my control, my resolve against my temper weakens. And I hate it when that happens. Especially as a mom. I love my son – and my future kids – and never want to lose my temper around them. I feel absolutely horrible when it happens. Ashamed, guilty, undeserving. I’m a grown woman! I should be able to handle this!

Yesterday, though, a friend of mine posted a guest post from a mom who has made it her mission to let other moms who struggle with anger know they’re not alone. Because that’s one of the biggest problems in dealing with anger as a mom – feeling alone. Afraid to talk about it. Afraid of being judged.

It was so refreshing and encouraging to read those words. I’d had a rough afternoon and was feeling pretty blue, wondering how I was ever going to handle having more than one child. But the writer summed up how to handle it in three simple steps (which I shall paraphrase in my own words – to get the full detail, read it here):

1. Get some time to yourself at the beginning of the day to talk to God and read the Word.

2. When something frustrating happens, react in the opposite spirit (positively).

3. Love your kids in their individual love language.

I almost cried while I was reading it. Because I haven’t been doing #1 on that list for a very, very long time. No wonder I’ve been struggling with 2 and 3.

At the end of the post, she asked how many of us could use a fresh start to this week, how many of us wanted to commit to those three simple things. I wanted to jump up and down! Because I can do those things. I know I can.

This week, I started getting up an hour before the baby’s breakfast so that I can cook and eat my own breakfast without him fussing in the highchair because he’s ready to get down and play. So all I did was add praying and reading my Bible for a few minutes to that hour of time. My prayers are nothing fancy – just talking to God, asking for patience for the day, praying for my husband. Then I’ll read a couple chapters in my Bible.

If the same frustrating things that happened  yesterday happen again today, I will react in the opposite spirit. I will not get angry. Because getting angry is not productive and will not solve the problem. It is okay to feel frustrated, but what happens after that initial feeling is up to me.

And I will spend time loving my baby in his love language. As he gets older and more expressive, I’m learning what he likes – sometimes he just wants to be left alone on the floor with a soft blanket and some toys, sometimes he wants me to just sit next to him, sometimes he wants me to talk to him face to face, sometimes he wants to sit on my lap with a toy and alternate between playing and cuddling.

Three simple things.

And the knowledge that I’m not alone.

It’s a world of difference.

…the need for change. To my style. My face is clearing up, I’m losing weight, my hair is growing out, and the season is changing…and I’m feeling the urge to change with it.

I love style and fashion and clothes and hair and makeup. I love experimenting with it. It’s a little harder to experiment with clothes because, well, those cost money I don’t always have. But thanks to some birthday money and a little babysitting and saving up my monthly “blow money”, I’m going shopping next month. And I can’t wait! I love fall and winter clothes. They’re my favorite. The rich colors, the soft fabrics, the endless layering possibilities. And the coats!!! I love coats. Our first married Christmas, my husband bought me a beautiful black wool winter coat that I have worn the dickens out of. Unfortunately last winter the zipper broke. And, um, being able to close my coat is kind of up there on the list of needs. So guess what’s going on my Christmas list this year? Husband is awesome at finding the best quality for the deepest discount. So I’ll leave that little detail to him.

Meanwhile, I’m going on the hunt next month for dark, saturated colors. Long-sleeve t-shirts with embellished camisoles underneath. Maybe a thin scarf to wear on days when I’m feeling a little chic and boho. And possibly a pair of shoes my feet don’t freeze in. That would be nice.

And then there’s the hair and cosmetics. I’ve been growing my hair out over the summer, and after browsing through old pictures of myself last night from our dating days when my hair was past my shoulders, I’m so ready to have it long again for a while. I want to be able to pull it back in fun ways and style it in loose, wavy curls. And I want to wear black eyeliner. I haven’t had black eyeliner in ages. Now I want some again. And dark nail polish. I used to do my nails a lot. I haven’t lately. But there are some gorgeous colors out right now and I want me some of that, starting with a deep, dark purple.

So ultimately, I’m glamming it up a little for a while! What better time to do that than in the fall? Summertime is for light fabrics, fresh-faced makeup, and casual backyard barbecues. Fall is for soft, warm fabrics, slightly darker makeup, and comfort foods in front of the fireplace. I love fall. I can’t wait to make my first big pot of soup. And I can’t wait to put on some black eyeliner. Bring on the change of seasons!

We have been a busy busy family over the past few weeks! I’ve got tons of pictures to put up, which always seems to take me forever to get around to, since they’re on my husband’s computer, and I primarily blog from my laptop.

My husband took a week of vacation starting Labor Day weekend, which was awesome! We didn’t go anywhere – we joke that having a baby and buying a house was our vacation this year! – but we spent tons of time together and did a lot of fun things. Camping with his parents, big family barbecue at my parents’ house, shopping trips, house projects, dates, and wrapped it all up with a Celtic Woman concert at Red Rocks.

We changed the baby’s schedule recently, too – dropped a nap and a feeding, started putting meat in his diet. He’s done incredibly well with the change. It only took 1 day for him to adjust! He was so ready. And he loves his meat! I make it myself – I think the jarred baby food meat is disgusting. I sure wouldn’t eat it. So I figured it out. I make him a mixture of chicken breast, thighs, and brown rice, and mix it in the blender with some water. Baby really likes his meat! We mix it with veggies – it’s the only way he’ll eat green beans.

Incidentally, the baby now weighs 21 pounds 10 ounces! Oh my gosh he’s huge! We had his 9 month checkup last week and he’s doing great. We only had one little sick incident in the past month – he had a reaction to something and his eyelids got all red and puffy. But a little medicine and some sleep cleared that right up and he’s fine.

Oh, speaking of allergic reactions, I’ve been on my own crazy saga. 2 weeks ago during my husband’s vacation I had an allergic reaction to something I put on my face (something I’ve used many times before so the reaction pretty much came out of nowhere!). My whole face turned red like it was sunburned, and over the next 24 hours it broke out even worse and then dried up so bad, it was flaking everywhere. And oh the stinging! It was horrible. Everything I put on my face – no matter how gentle – stung like crazy and no moisture could penetrate it.

Thanks to my mom and my husband, we got the dryness under control, and thanks to a family friend I’m finally getting my acne under control. I’m attacking it primarily through diet and nutrition. And it’s working really well. My face looks better than it has in months. Maybe once it clears up for good I’ll post a picture of it. Maybe.

And I have more pictures to post of our first family tent camping trip last weekend! We went with some friends up to 11 Mile and spent the night. Can’t say the baby was a fan of the tent experience…but that’s a whole story in and of itself.

Okay, that’s all for now. I have to get off the couch and start my day. Or I never will.

Nine years ago today, our nation was under attack. It was a life-changing moment. A world-changing moment. Today, people are remembering where they were when it happened.

And I’m seeing a recurring theme. Many people who had just had or were about to have new babies were watching the tragic events unfold and thinking “What are we about to do/have we done bringing a new child into this world???”

And that struck a chord with me.

I’ll tell you what we’re doing.

It goes back to what lit a fire under me to become a parent in the first place – people are always saying this world needs more good teachers (and it does, I’m not arguing that at all), but what this world needs more than that is more good parents, people willing to do the hard things to raise their kids to be good, strong, Godly, productive members of society.

What we’re doing is just that. We’re bringing our children into this world that we spoke of that terrible day to bring the Kingdom of God into the next generation. To continue to bring peace and love and justice and mercy and grace and hope and GOD to the world after we, the current generation, have passed on.

THAT is what we’re doing.

Proud to be an American. Proud to be a Christian. Proud to be a Parent.

May God bless and comfort everyone as we remember those we lost nine years ago.

Proof that rice ‘n beans does not equal boring.

My husband has a hilarious habit of talking in his sleep while he’s dreaming. Sometimes I’ll wake up to him talking out loud as if he’s having a totally normal, wide awake conversation with someone. I give him a nudge and he wakes up a little bit, usually grunts out a sleepy “Huh? What?” and goes right back to sleep.

Last night, though, was the funniest one yet!

Husband, with great urgency: “Towel! TOWEL!”

Me, half-asleep: “What’s wrong?”

Husband sits up: “The baby has yams all over him!” – he lays back down.

Me, patting Husband’s shoulder: “Honey, you’re dreaming.”

Husband, waking up a little bit: “Huh? What?”

Aaaaaaand he was back out in dreamland again! Albeit quietly this time.